Trauma Isn’t Always Visible: Finding Strength After the Shock

By: Pamela Hapson

Some wounds aren’t seen, they’re felt. Trauma doesn’t always leave scars on the outside. Sometimes, it changes the way your heart beats. It interrupts your sleep. It makes your mind replay the worst moments, over and over again, like a movie you never wanted to watch.

As a therapist, I’ve spent years helping others heal from their trauma. But nothing prepares you for the moment when you become the one who needs healing.

Not long ago, I found myself caught in the middle of a terrifying shooting at what should have been a safe and positive event; a community gathering for our college students. Gunfire shattered the peace. People screamed. Lives were lost. And though I walked away physically unharmed, emotionally, I carried something heavy home with me that day.

I share this not just as a therapist but as someone who understands firsthand how quickly life can change.

Trauma Has Many Faces And All of Them Are Real

Trauma isn’t defined by the length of the event. It doesn’t have to leave physical bruises to be valid. Trauma is about the emotional shock, the sudden loss of safety, the feeling of helplessness that stays long after the danger has passed.

Trauma can come from:

⦁ Violence and assault

⦁ Accidents or natural disasters

⦁ Witnessing harm to others

⦁ Loss, grief, or betrayal

⦁ Any event that shakes your sense of security

But here’s the most important truth: Trauma is personal. No one else gets to decide what was traumatic for you. If it hurt, if it left a mark on your mind or your heart, it counts.

The Hurt You Can’t See Is Still Real

After the shooting, people said things like:

⦁ “Well, at least you weren’t physically hurt.”

⦁ “That’s just the way the world is.”

⦁ “Why were you even there?”

Those words can feel just as harmful as the event itself. Because the message underneath them is this: Your pain doesn’t matter.

But it does.

Mental and emotional wounds are real wounds. Whether your trauma comes from what you experienced, what you witnessed, or what you feared might happen, it has a right to be acknowledged.

You Don’t Have to Just “Get Over It”

There’s no timer on healing. No right or wrong amount of time for how long it “should” take to feel better. Healing is not a race and it’s not a straight line.

Some days you might feel okay. Other days, the memory might hit you out of nowhere. Both are part of the process.

If you’re struggling to sleep, feeling anxious, or stuck in a loop of flashbacks—you’re not failing at healing. You’re doing the hard work of surviving something that hurt you.

Steps Toward Healing (That I’m Taking Too)

1. Acknowledge what happened - You don’t need to justify your feelings to anyone. Simply naming the trauma is the first step toward releasing its power over you.

2. Know that the shame doesn’t belong to you - Whether you were a direct victim or a witness, what happened was not your fault. Don’t let anyone minimize your experience.

3. Find support that feels safe - Not every person deserves to hear your story. Choose those who listen to understand, not to judge, fix, or compare.

4. Use grounding strategies - Simple tools like deep breathing, focusing on your senses, or writing down your thoughts can help bring your body and mind back to the present moment when memories try to pull you back into the past.

5. Be patient with yourself - There will be good days. There will be hard days. Both are okay.

Your Trauma Does Not Define You

I want you to hear this clearly:

⦁ What happened to you matters.

⦁ You matter.

⦁ And what happens next is just as important.

Trauma is something that happens to you, it’s not who you are.

If You’re Ready to Begin Healing, You Don’t Have to Do It Alone

At Samuels Holistic Counseling Services, we believe that healing takes time, support, and the right tools. Whether you’re dealing with recent trauma or wounds that have been quietly weighing on you for years, we’re here to help you find peace again, on your terms.

Visit us at www.samuelscounseling.org to learn more or to schedule a session. Together, we can walk the path toward healing, one step at a time.