Why Do I Compare Myself to Everyone Else?The Mental Health Effects of Constant Comparison and How to Break Free

You open social media for a couple minutes.

Someone purchased a home.

Someone got engaged.

Someone has started a new business.

Someone got the job they dreamed of.

A good day suddenly feels… less, in seconds.

You begin to doubt your own development.

Your own success

Your self-worth.

Have you ever asked yourself:

i. "Why do I compare myself to everybody else?"

You’re asking one of the most common mental health concerns individuals Google.

Comparison is something that practically everyone experiences.

But if it's continual, it doesn't foster progress.

It steals confidence and tranquility and contentment. Quietly.

Why Our Brains Compare

Comparison is not a defect.

Well, the human brain does this naturally.

For thousands of years we’ve been comparing ourselves so we may understand where we fit in our community.

But today that instinct has run head-on into something our brains were never meant to cope with:

Unlimited access to everyone else’s highlight reel.

Instead of comparing ourselves to a few people, we are comparing ourselves to thousands.

And that’s exhausting.

The Link Between Comparison and Mental Health

The odd comparison is normal.

But constant comparison is a bad thing.

Long-term comparison has been consistently connected with:

⦁ Anxiety

⦁ Depression

⦁ Lower self-esteem

⦁ Increased stress

⦁ Perfectionism

⦁ Feelings of inadequacy

The problem isn’t in witnessing someone else’s achievement.

The trouble starts when their success is evidence that somehow you are failing.

Why Social Media Makes Comparison Worse

Life is rarely how it looks on social media.

It shows:

⦁ Promotions

⦁ Vacations

⦁ Milestones

⦁ Celebrations

⦁ Perfect angles

⦁ Biggest achievements

What you don't usually see are:

⦁ Failures

⦁ Anxiety

⦁ Loneliness

⦁ Financial stress

⦁ Relationship struggles

⦁ Self-doubt

It’s always a bad comparison to make between your everyday and someone else’s controlled moments.

Signs Comparison Is Affecting Your Mental Health

You may notice:

⦁ Surfing the web and feeling frustrated

⦁ Comparing yourself constantly to others

⦁ Having trouble enjoying your own wins

⦁ Feeling like you are falling behind

⦁ Doubting your talents even when you have achieved success

⦁ Feeling jealous more than inspired

Many people misinterpret these sentiments as lack of confidence.

Often, they are signs of persistent comparison.

Why July Can Make Comparison Worse

July often brings:

⦁ Summer vacations

⦁ Weddings

⦁ Family gatherings

⦁ Reunions

⦁ Graduation celebrations

⦁ Mid-year reflection

With individuals sharing their lives online, it's easy to feel that everyone else is moving forward and you're standing still.

But keep in mind:

You’re measuring your whole life against a few pictures of someone else’s.

That is not ever a fair comparison.

How to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

Benchmark against your former self

The best comparison is who you were yesterday, and who you’re becoming now.

Growth is individual.

This isn't a competition.

Limit Unhelpful Inputs

It’s okay to unfollow or mute some accounts if they always make you feel inadequate.

Looking after your mental health is not avoidance.

It’s wisdom.

Practice Gratitude Daily

Comparison is all about what’s not there.

Gratitude is a reminder of the things you already possess.

Neither can occupy the focus of your Attention at the same moment.

Celebrate Other People's Success Without Making It About You

Someone else's success is not proof of your failure.

Life is not one race to one finish line.

Everyone achieves different milestones at different times.

Define Success for Yourself

One of the primary reasons comparison hurts is because so many people are chasing someone else’s version of success.

Ask yourselves,

i. What actually matters to me?

The answer could look very different from what the world celebrates.

Final Thoughts

There’s a way comparison makes us feel behind.

That we are not successful enough.

Not good enough looking.

Not accomplished enough.

But such thoughts don’t always tell the whole tale.

The truth is you don’t see the struggles that everybody is bearing.

We all have our skepticism.

Everyone has a place where they feel behind.

Your journey was never supposed to look like someone else's.

And the minute you stop comparing your life to everyone else’s timeline is generally the minute you learn to appreciate your own.

Growth is not about following the crowd.

It’s about becoming a better version of you, one step at a time.