September is Suicide Prevention Awareness Month, a time to reduce stigma, recognize warning signs and help people get the care they need.
Conversations about suicide can be difficult. Many are afraid that they will say the wrong thing or that they will make it worse by bringing it up.
But ignoring the matter is not helping a struggling someone. “Knowing what to look for, and how to respond, can help save a life.
What Are the Warning Signs of Suicide?
There is no single sign that someone is thinking about suicide. Warning signals are more problematic when they are new, increasing in intensity, or tied to a severe loss, crisis, or major life change.
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, warning symptoms might include:
Talking about wanting to die
Expressing hopelessness or feeling trapped
Saying they are a burden to others
Withdrawing from family and friends
Giving away meaningful possessions
Saying goodbye unexpectedly
Experiencing extreme mood changes
Increasing alcohol or drug use
Sleeping much more or less than usual
Researching or developing a suicide plan
Displaying unusual anger, anxiety, or agitation
Engaging in dangerous or reckless behavior
A quick change from intense distress to extraordinary serenity doesn't usually suggest the person is improving. In other cases it may mean they have made the decision to kill themselves.
Risk Factors Are Not the Same as Warning Signs
Risk factors are conditions that may lead to increased vulnerability over time. Warning indicators are developments that could suggest a disaster is coming now.
Risk factors include previous suicide attempts, mental health or substance use disorders, severe pain, social isolation, serious financial problems, loss of relationships, trauma, or access to fatal means.
Having one or more risk factors does not mean that a person will try to take his or her life. This means that if someone’s mood, language or behavior changes, it should be taken seriously rather than dismissed.
How Should You Ask About Suicide?
If you are concerned, ask directly:
“Are you thinking about suicide?”
Saying the term suicide doesn’t put the concept in someone’s head. When a question is explicit, it offers the person permission to answer honestly, without having to diminish what they are experiencing.
Don’t ask nonspecific questions like, “You wouldn’t do anything stupid, would you?” That phrase is judgmental and may cause the person to say no.
Listen. Silently. Don't argue with them about whether their problems are significant enough. Don't tell them how much they have to live for. Don't make them feel terrible about the people who would be injured.
You don’t have to have the perfect answer You have to take their sorrow seriously.
How Can You Help Someone Who Is Suicidal?
The five key steps recommended by the NIMH are ask, be there, help them stay safe, help them connect, and follow up.
Be Present
Allow the person to talk without immediately trying to correct their thoughts.
You might say:
“I’m glad you told me.”
“You do not have to handle this alone.”
“I’m staying with you while we find help.”
Being there doesn’t imply taking complete responsibility for their safety. It involves staying connected while having sufficient support.
Help Keep Them Safe
If the person has a plan, has access to fatal tools, or intends to act soon, treat the situation as an emergency.
Do not abandon them. Limit access to firearms, drugs, or other potentially dangerous things when it can be done safely. If you are in danger, call emergency services or take the person to the nearest emergency department.
Never agree to keep thoughts of suicide a secret. The protection of someone's life is of greater importance than keeping secrets between friends or family members.
Connect Them With Support
Help the person connect with a therapist, doctor, trusted family member, crisis counselor, or other trusted assistance.
In the U.S., anyone experiencing emotional distress or crisis can call or text 988 or chat with the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline. The service is available 24/7.
If it is daunting to them to make the call, offer to stay with them or call 988 together.
Follow Up
Support should not stop when the immediate crisis is over.
Send a message, make a call or organize another visit. Ask if they linked up with expert treatment and if their safety plan continues to seem workable.
Regular follow-up shows that a person’s life counts after the emergency.
Suicide Prevention Is More Than Crisis Intervention
Suicide prevention also entails building relationships where people can acknowledge they’re struggling before they get to crisis.
Be serious about behavior modification. Check in on folks after loss of loved ones, breakups, financial issues, health diagnosis, career shifts or other unsettling events. Speak freely about therapy and mental healthcare without making it a sign of weakness.
This also requires paying attentive when the crisis seems to be over. Recovery is rarely a straight line and someone may still need professional treatment, practical help and reliable human connection.
There are times when you might not know what to say. Genuine concern, straightforward questioning, a readiness to call in aid – these things are worth more than quiet.
Final Thoughts
Suicide Prevention Month reminds us that seeing a person’s sorrow is only the first step.
Ask the tough question. Hear without the label. Get the person to professional help. Watch them, as the danger seems to pass.
You are not supposed to be someone’s therapist or handle a problem alone.
But you may be the person who sees, asks, stays, and helps link them to someone qualified to take it from there.
If a person is in immediate danger, dial 911. If you or someone you know is in suicide crisis or mental distress, call or text 988 in the United States.
